I just realized that “today” was the same title I used for a poem in the archives. That fact occurred to me yesterday, after I had already posted. Strangely, I felt no inclination to re-wtite the title. Today, is today…And I am not worried about it. Just wanted to mention it, for posterity sake, I guess.
I spoke to a counselor today. It’s through a special program, where I can go for free, and it’s anonymous. You can find the flyers for counseling at ACS. There’s a lot of people who need to take advantage of this program. Obviously, I can’t worry about that. I just made sure that I got the help that I needed. It’s good to deflate and talk about things that are buried inside. That’s less of a drag on my husband, who often bears the brunt of my frustrations.
I can still hardly wait until the children return from school. However, I am starting to savor my space of silence. I do try to appreciate having that. I have been using the time to write after my daily workout. Though the appointment altered my routine, it was well worth it. We talked for over two hours, and it was wonderful. It centered around balancing my marriage and family. When I get stressed, talking really does help. With a professional, you don’t have a lot of friendship drama to deal with. Noone can “hang junk over your head,” or not respect you in the morning.
I learned more about myself than I had expected. The counselor never offered advice, just asked questions to get my mind moving over my situation, so I can confront what’s really bothering me. I wish I could go into more detail, but the issues are still swirling about, in the middle of the mess that makes up the melancholy.
Next appointment, Friday…We’ll see what has changed, then.
