This morning, I was praying over an issue that has brought me much grief. I asked God to help me understand what I biblically needed to know regarding the intensified gay rights debate. Actually, I have been both sickened and saddened by the increasing violence and hate speech towards the LGBT community. It has been on my mind so much, lately. I can’t get over how anti-Christian the bigotry has become.
I needed God to help me with this one, because I couldn’t see Jesus on the angry faces of Christians on television protesting gay marriage. After re-reading key scriptures used to condemn homosexuality, it amazes me how many interpretations of the bible I readily accepted as complete truth. I began to understand these verses in a way that I hadn’t before. I have complete peace about loving and accepting members of the LGBT community as fellow children of God. I am quite thankful for it, actually.
At that time, I had also recalled the story of the Samaritan woman to DH before he left for work. When he was gone, I went online to check out a great website (Revolution Church in NYC) to hear their weekly sermon (Radical Love by Jay Bakker). I was so comforted by the Holy Spirit reaching out to “teach me all things.”
I am so glad that God is helping me to embrace love rather than fear. It helps me to love and accept myself, as well. I know that I am also different, and it’s okay.
“…If you approach God in a certain way, it will drive you crazy.” I cannot agree more. I was almost driven crazy by neo con/religious right interpretations of God that I have previously encountered. Harmful byproducts include intolerance and fear of others who do not share those beliefs. I am now aware that my past self-destructive behavior is a manifestation of repressed self-hatred. What do you do when you know that you’re really a target-one of “the enemies?” I Can’t change my color, who I love, or events in my past. No wonder that I could never really belong-I wasn’t their perception of perfect! Now, a stream of contradictions has become a flood, as scandals expose their hypocrisy.
“Birthers” further reveal the venomous, organized hatred that is akin to the angry anti-abortion rallies that stirred-up “craziness” enough to cause the deaths of several abortionists. One doctor couldn’t even find refuge in his own church. Clearly, “Crazy” came to kill him there.
This is so far away from Christianity, that it startles me to action. I have to do what I can, TODAY.
I am a Christian, and part of the Exodus away from a poisoned gospel.
In the following video clips, Frank Schaeffer eloquently and courageously speaks on these complex issues (*Note you have to click on the first video link for his recent interview with Rachel Maddow, second is from earlier this year on CNN with DL Hugley) :
I am in my new home. It is an apartment with a large balcony backed-up to a forest. I pretend that I am living in a tree house. I am still writing, but I haven’t returned to this blog until now. I need a time to be totally anonymous, and it hasn’t happened for me here. I also believe much differently than ever before, so I am tempted to erase old entries. I will not, because there must be a record of the transition.
For the first time, the children are away, involved in summer activities. Finally, I am having the time and space to hear my thoughts clearly. I am learning that I know so little about the world in which I live. I want to know so much more! I am so fascinated by different people’s life stories and beliefs. It is shocking how convinced I was that everything could be boiled down to a formula. Sure, it kept me “safe,” but it also left no allowances for truly living. It continued to make me bitter and critical, despite my sincerest desire to be both loving and accepting of others. Any relationships I formed always had to be strictly on my terms-to my benefit and convenience. It is no wonder I had lost so many through the years. It’s very sad, and hard to admit.
About two weeks ago, I had the most vivid dream. In it, God showed me a picture of the failings of my past. These failures were in the form of a framed collage, where all of my hurt and my mistakes lay exposed for anyone to see. Can you imagine? Things that I desperately sought to stuff away through lying, and gluttony-whatever other sin I could rationalize at the time…ALL of this was creatively showcased and presented to me with a smile. In my horror and disbelief, I was told that it was beautiful. These things were regarded as beautiful, because they were a part of the masterpiece that was me.
What?
Through the years, I have scourged myself over perceived failures (sins of both omission & commission). This had quite a paralyzing effect. I was soon unable to anything but sit and “stew” in my own thoughts. Now, I am truly ready to live and to “make” my life instead of being overly cautious, waiting for it to end.
It is going to be a little scary and controversial, to be sure. There is peace in this space. There is joy in being human, and for being just as I am.
With love…
Upon the ascension of our country’s new administration, I have embarked on a journey of spiritual renewal.I am tempted to believe that the United States can begin to heal.The Christian conservative platform is being shaken, and their nuts continue to fall from its tree.War is still “on the table” as we wistfully count the months before our possible return to a divided America.
I am forwarded a link to a thoughtfully written open letter to NY Post from John Legend via e-mail:
It came at the right time.My son had returned home that day with an incredible story…While at a function on post, the supervising parent and her child had compared my son to the same monkey mentioned in this letter.They had shared quite a laugh at that so-called “joke.”My son had sat stunned.He tried to protest, declaring that throughout history, black people have been negatively compared to primates.The supervising mother acted shocked and surprised.She insisted that he “took it the wrong way.”So, my son sat for another hour, before eventually returning home.
I am thankful that I was home.I am grateful that he didn’t have to digest the poison that was given.In his frustration at being dehumanized and ridiculed, he could place the burden into his mother’s loving arms.That is where quiet, intelligent dialogue (along with prayer) dissolves the acidic muck.
I cannot recall the countless instances where this mother’s presence made the difference.Many things are too painful for our children to hold-even for an hour.As a child, I would struggle to make it until the end of a school day, and yet-coming home gave me no relief.I was met by a sitter/nanny…whatever you call it.By the time my dad would get home, the “poison” was swallowed, and my mind was preoccupied with something else.Yet, there was a vague awareness that I was slowly burning somewhere on the inside.When the pain becomes unbearable, that is when they call you a teenager with “teen” issues or as a girl, having PMS.Sometimes, things don’t change much, do they?
The holidays have just ended, and you are now gone. They have drawn you back into “the happy place” where the fireworks fly.
I watch them explode in riveting brilliance upon the evening news. Reporters muster somber tones, describing the chaos. The 24-hour coverage is strangely comforting. As the world watches and discusses the updates, I feel closer to you. I fight the twinge of guilt over conflicts and atrocities that have fallen off the “world’s stage.” So many people have died without a backward glance…
I collect scraps of newfound gratitude, sinking alongside the children in the safety of our beds.
Is the waiting ever easy? I cannot be discouraged by the disruption of the plans that we dared to make. “Such is the nature of the beast…” Yet, I allowed myself to momentarily forget that you belong to “Uncle Sam,” and life is riddled with constraints.
Alas, the time is short, but we shall live…
I just submitted this to another site when asked to describe what this presidential inaguration means to me. I want to share it, because I had intended to relate this experience much earlier. Instead, I merely “basked” in it, and went about my own business. Better late than never, I guess…
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At some point in my youth, I began to walk through life hunched over, eyes downcast. Despite my potential, I never felt quite “good enough.” I “sold myself short” by letting my dreams fall by the wayside…
Barack Obama disintegrated the cynicism and distrust I had in my own country, when it united to elect him as the 44th President of the United States. The morning after the announcement was made, I went to the grocery store and walked boldly with my head raised high. Finally, I could look those passing by me in the eye. I was no longer afraid. My blackness was finally a badge of honor, instead of an impediment for a job, a date or whatever lie I used to believe.
Approaching the second month of this “amazing reality” and I still stand tall and grandly strut down the sidewalk on my way to the bank, the post office, the gym…I am no longer the same, and that is some kind of change, indeed.
December is my favorite month. This year was an especially busy one.
Beyond our celebration of Christmas and birthdays (I share the “birthday month” with son and two in-laws), my husband returned from a recent deployment.
It is wonderful for him to be home to see his family during this special time.
The PRESENCE of their soldier is the best PRESENT a military family can receive during Christmastime. I do not take such a blessing for granted.
We regret the recent loss of Sen. Obama’s grandmother, Madelyn Payne Dunham.I am thankful for the positive impact she has made upon the entire world through her diligence, sacrifice and compassion.I am reminded of so many others like her, upon whose “shoulders we stand.” Like millions of people around the world, our family shall continue to keep both the Obama and Biden families in our prayers.
It was reported in the news today, that Ms. Dunham had already voted (absentee) before she passed. May we let nothing deter us from doing the same…
(E-mail Excerpt From MoveOn.org):
Election 2008 Voting Information
Today, November 4th, is Election Day! Remember to vote—not just for Barack Obama, but for Congressional, state, and local candidates as well.
Where and when do I vote?
Find your polling place, voting times, and other important information by checking out these sites and the hotline below. These resources are good, but not perfect. To be doubly sure, you can also contact your local elections office.
